Wesley Crusher: Literally Crushing Our Schedule

If you ever wondered what the road to C2E2 actually looks like, sometimes it's way less "belting showtunes and birdwatching" and a lot more like dealing with haunted machinery. This year, the universe really decided to test us before we even hit the Illinois border.

This whole saga actually started over two weeks ago when we first picked up our 16-foot Enterprise truck. At first, things were totally fine. We took it to AwesomeCon in DC and GalaxyCon Richmond without any major drama.

We originally named the truck Uhura (ya know because it's an Enterprise truck), but we quickly realized this vehicle is way too sensitive. It has that "need a break?" driver alert system and it was constantly nagging us every five minutes like we couldn't handle the drive. It got so annoying that we officially changed the name to Wesley just so I could say "Shut up, Wesley!" like in Star Trek whenever it started chirping. Well, Wesley apparently took that personally.

Kim and I (it's Alexis 👋🏻) started our trek to Chicago on Tuesday morning, leaving our home in Richmond. It was a totally uneventful, smooth travel day; Which is exactly the kind of "boring" you want when you're hauling a booth full of art across state lines. We made it all the way to Perrysburg, Ohio, and tucked in for the night feeling pretty good about everything.

Then came Wednesday morning.

It started with a very specific kind of hotel room chaos. Yesterday, cough syrup leaked all over my socks in my luggage because of course it did, so I spent the evening hand-washing them in the sink. They were still damp this morning, so there I was, sitting on the bed and blasting them with a hairdryer to get them dry enough to wear. I guess I turned the room into a temporary sauna because the heat actually triggered the smoke alarm. It beeped, I panicked, it eventually went quiet on its own, and then I had to call the front desk to explain that no, there wasn't a fire. Just a very dedicated Alexis and some soggy socks.

This is the face of a woman who just fought a smoke alarm with a hairdryer over some cough syrup socks... and lost.

Kim and I finally got out of the hotel and headed to First Watch for breakfast, but we never even got to eat. The second we turned the truck off in the parking lot, a glowing orange engine light with three weird wavy lines popped up on the dash. We had no idea what it meant, but then the vehicle started screaming.

Ten thousand miles and Wesley is already throwing out icons we've never seen before. Real overachiever energy.

This wasn't a polite little chime. It was a high-pitched, piercing electronic alarm that basically said, "Pay attention to me, something is very wrong." The weirdest part was that while we were actually driving, Wesley was perfectly quiet. But the second we turned the key to the "lock" position or pulled it out entirely, the screaming started back up. It didn't matter if we opened the doors, closed them, or locked the vehicle. Nothing stopped it.

We were just standing there in the parking lot with a practically brand-new truck (only 10,000 miles!) that was essentially throwing a haunted tantrum the moment we tried to leave it.

We skipped breakfast and went straight to Enterprise. The manager, Hunter, tried his best to help us get to the bottom of it, but as he investigated, a second light appeared: a true, solid check engine light. While the first wavy-line symbol had been flickering on and off, this new engine light was staying on for good.

Oh good, a second light joined the party. At this point, the dashboard is basically just mocking us.

Hunter was stumped, so we headed over to a diesel repair shop. They promised to make us a priority and push everything else aside to help us. We sat there for a tense hour, watching the clock and doing the math. It was 11am, we were four hours away from Chicago, and the docks close strictly at 4:30pm. If they couldn't find the ghost in the machine, we were staring down the absolute worst-case scenario: manually moving the entire booth and inventory into a different 16-foot box truck. It would have been an insane amount of labor for just the two of us.

But then, the unexpected happened. The mechanics ran their diagnostics and... couldn't find a single thing wrong. They cleared the lights, told us the truck was safe to drive, and sent us on our way.

Our 16-foot nemesis/chariot, Wesley Crusher.

We're taking a raincheck on that First Watch breakfast, but we hit our real goal. We are officially back on the road and on track to unload at C2E2 today. If Wesley starts screaming again once we hit Chicago, I'll find another repair center there, but for now, we are just relieved to be moving.

We are officially dividing and conquering this week! Come see Alexis and Kim at C2E2 in Chicago at booth 349. We'll have all the art you love, plus some great stories about screaming trucks if you want the live version. And if you're in KC for Planet Comicon, go visit Pat at booth 1222! He’s holding down the fort there while we handle the Midwest chaos.

See you soon, Chicago! We’re coming for you. Hopefully Wesley shuts up.